One scholar explains that David feared for his life, not only because of threats from Saul, or from other nations: these threats “extended to his own family. The rebellion of his son Absalom is a poignant example.” His son’s rebellion occurred after the rape of Tamar, perhaps even as a result of David’s response. “When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.” (2 Samuel 13:21) Yet, David did not seek justice for Tamar.
David’s failure to punish Amnon is one of the darkest periods of a reign filled with many dark moments. David was a passionate and sometimes thoughtless man who might have failed to recognize what Amnon really took from Tamar. After all, David had a weakness for women and did not respect them. He was accustomed to taking what he wanted and not considering the consequences, such as when he betrayed Uriah by taking Bathsheba, then sending Uriah to his death in order to cover the sin of adultery. Amnon followed suit.
At the very least, David should have been aware that Absalom would regard this incident as the justification he needed to try and wrest control from his father. Their conflict endangered the kingdom. Any king, especially one with so many sons, faced threats to his leadership if he did not act swiftly and wisely to throw sand on the slightest spark. With greater forethought, punishing Amnon would have made political sense even if he overlooked his daughter’s value as a human being.
In spite of these sins, David was a man of faith, one who confessed and repented many times. His Psalms record vulnerability and submission, confession and repentance. In Psalm 51, David cries out, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.” (v.1)
The average American cannot relate to David’s circumstances: his courageous stand against Goliath, fleeing from murder attempts plotted by a jealous king; a life of leadership and warfare. Yet, we can relate to his struggle with sin and submission to God. David’s Psalms provide an honest record of this inner conflict, but also of what God wants from us: humility, honesty, confession, repentance, and fervor for the Lord. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” (Psalm 18:2-3)
David’s words are rich with joy, worship, and praise for God, even though his life was threatened when he wrote them. David has much to show us about a faith that delights in the Lord during difficult times, whether those difficulties are external or come from one’s own sinful inclinations.
Imperfect examples of fatherhood are everywhere in the Bible, in history, and in our own homes. There are no perfect fathers. But we know what imperfection looks like because our God is just and loving, and he sent Christ to show us what perfection is. All of those mistakes, those failings and sins, point us to Jesus. And by his death, all fathers who believe in Christ alone are redeemed. We need to pray for the men in our lives that their status as sons enables them to make peace with the mistakes they make as fathers. And, thanks to those Biblical examples, perhaps children can also forgive their fathers when they see that many challenges to parenting are patterns ingrained across millennia of fatherhood, repeated, but also redeemed by a loving and just Father.
Sources:
https://www.evangelical-times.org/three-bad-dads-of-the-bible-i/
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/fatherhood-for-imperfect-dads
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/samuel-the-prophet-an-adoption-story/
https://www.evangelical-times.org/three-bad-dads-of-the-bible-2/
https://biblehub.com/topical/j/jephthah’s_tragic_vow.htm
https://biblehub.com/topical/d/david’s_fear_and_decision.htm
https://www.evangelical-times.org/three-bad-dads-of-the-bible-i/
https://www.evangelical-times.org/three-bad-dads-of-the-bible-3/
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